I was just in line at the Circle K down the street. Now, I don’t expect much when I go into a Circle K, but the least I ask for is to be able to do my business without feeling the need to beat the living shit out of some dumb ass.
So I am standing at the end of a line 7 people deep, with two more people behind me. Then this old catcher’s mitt of an old hag steps out of line. She looks back at me and say, “Can you save my spot for me?” and then runs off to the candy aisle without giving me time to say , “No bitch, get in the back of the fucking train.”
She comes back from the candy Aisle with a stack of candy bars for her husband, and I’m sure she meant her Labrador when she said husband; because I couldn’t imagine Quasimodo sticking with this fucking grease stain. Then I tell her, “Hey you got out of line, get behind me.” So, she starts up with the “But, I asked you to save my spot.” As I reply in my “fuck you, you filthy nasty mushroomed-up snatch” tone of voice “That doesn’t mean shit.” The clerk cut a “I-need-to get-slapped-with-a-cement-block” look. And since I really didn’t want to get kicked out of the Circle K where I get my daily supply of MGD I figured I’d let the old leather flap cut back in line.
After all that shit the walking melanoma start chatting me up like I’m her old friend Cathy. She goes on to blame him on her being fat, because he eats candy bars. Fuck that, your fat because god is trying to kill you.
So I am about to finally buy my nightly brew, after waiting for the hag to dig out correct change for her wine cooler and candy bars, and ALREADY GETS THE RECEIPT OF PURCHASE. She says, “Oh wait, I need to buy my GPC cigarettes.” So the register gal digs around a wall of cancer candy for nearly 3 minutes before she looks in the section that has ALL the GPC cigarettes. After all that the living cancer specimen hand her a$20 bill to pay for the smokes. Fuck.
After all that I felt that I should get another 6-pack and make the booze deal with this absurdity, but I didn’t want someone to have to hold my spot in line.
Fuck these people.
1 day ago